Coffee-Inspired Programmers’ Coffee Quotes

J.S. Bach and Talleyrand waxed poetic when discussing coffee, but their famous coffee quotes are old-fashioned, quaint and just plain wordy in comparison to the pithiness displayed by our modern creative geniuses — computer programmers and coders. In the true spirit of the Internet and coders everywhere, most of these computer coffee quote gems are anonymous, so enjoy them for what they are and pass them along to your favorite computer and gaming nerds.

A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems. – Paul Erdo

Of course, the realization that coffee is the engine of ideas is nothing new. Back in the day, author and philosopher, Honore de Balzac noted:

As soon as coffee is in your stomach, there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move…similes arise, the paper is covered Coffee is your ally and writing ceases to be a struggle. – Honor? de Balzac (1799-1859)

And in 1949, the New York Times recognized that:

Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy. [Coffee] is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat. – The New York Times, 1949

Coffee is the mother of invention, so it’s no surprise that modern-day inventors and programmers turn their programming genius to the things that are really important in life, like:

Can I make this thing initialize my coffee pot? (Anonymous)

Genius invention : A coffee maker that fits in a 1/2 height drive bay!

Nothing, however, compares to the wit and pith displayed when programmers discuss coffee in their native languages — C, C++ and Java, to name just a few. Anyone with even a passing familiarity with the DOS prompt will find these coffee quotes from coders and computer programmers easy to understand.

DOS Error Messages for the Caffeinated Coder

C:> \COFFEE.POT missing (A)bort (R)etry (F)all asleep? ~Author Unknown

C:> COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled. ~Author Unknown

C:> RISING.SUN detected: (A)nother coffee, (C)old shower, (S)leep? ~Author Unknown

C:> Caffeine Allocation Error: COFFEE.SYS missing, Programmer halted. ~Author Unknown

C:> COFFEE.COM error. Contact programmer J. Valdez

C:> COFFEE.CUP not found: (W)ash, (R)e-use, (D)rink from pot?

C:> COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key

C:> COFFEE.EXE Not Found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic?

C:> COFFEE.POT corrupted: Found failure in module FILTER.

C:> COFFEE.SYS: NMI ACTIVATED … coffee pot empty … Operator asleep

C:> Error running WAKEUP.BAT: COFFEE.INI not found

C:> COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

Caffeinated Compiler Errors and Programming Routines

Kernel PANIC: Unable to mount /dev/coffee.machine — Operator Halted

Error #23: CPTCB – Call Programmer and Take Coffee Break

Parity Error, System Halted,
Pots out of Coffee, Refill to restart

share.exe not loaded. coffee.sys not shared

GOSUB:coffee; work;RETURN

while(!Coffee) _Panic()

if( {programmer->;brain=OFF}; ~Author Unknown

COFFEE.CUP empty – Operator shelled out to COFFEE.POT

Coffee Quote Taglines
Operator out of coffee, taglines may become irrational

Why did the Sysadmin cross the road?:
To get coffee, why else would one be outside?

I think our coffee machine is networked – I keep seeing these dropped sugar packets all around it.”